I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
