She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ugly people sure do ruin things
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
