It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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