A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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