I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
