Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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