My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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