i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
