I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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