you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
