I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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