Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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