It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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