Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have post one night stand depression
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