you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
