that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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