He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
