As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
