Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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