actually, I'm a sock model
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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