He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
