you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
