1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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