please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
