I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
if only i could text you this smell
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
