jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
