His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
