True but thats because hes a fetus.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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