im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
