Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
