I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
