Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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