I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
