that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
