I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
