Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
