Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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