HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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