I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
