Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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