I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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