Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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