Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
