i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
