This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
