I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
