"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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