Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
do herpes really smell.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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