Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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