Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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