You can't motorboat a personality
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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