i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
